Clients from Hell

shrek · **Posted:** Wed Mar 07, 2012 5:57 am

http://clientsfromhell.net/

Some of these are pretty funny.

Quote:

January 09, 2012

Me: I still haven’t received payment for X

Client: Ah yes, there’s a very good reason for that. The invoice number was 666.

Me: And?

Client: And I’m not associating with the devil in any way.

Me: What if I send you another invoice?

Client: Nice try, but you’ve already made the mistake. Just try and sue me, I have religious rights.

interestedbystander · **Joined:** Mon Mar 02, 2009 8:47 am **Posts:** 253

David Thorne is brilliant at this stuff:

A client wanting design for free: http://www.27bslash6.com/p2p2.html

Trying to pay a bill with a drawing of a spider: http://www.27bslash6.com/overdue.html

And nothing to do with clients, but had to include it as it's hilarious - redneck baiting: http://www.27bslash6.com/foggot.html

Chilidog · **Joined:** Mon Jan 09, 2012 12:36 pm **Posts:** 1963

it's somewhat old, but the chronicles of George are fun

http://chroniclesofgeorge.com/

RTH10260 · **Posted:** Thu Mar 08, 2012 6:15 pm

Shrek made me shorten my useful life span, but this finding let the term BIRFER jump to my eyes:

Quote:

CLIENT: Can you update my Adobe?
ME: Sure. Which program are you using?
CLIENT: You need to listen to me when I speak! ADOBE
ME: Yes, I got that part. Adobe is the publisher, they make quite a-
CLIENT: Adobe! I want my Adobe updated. I have no idea what you’re talk about…
ME: Adobe makes lots of programs. Like, you wouldn’t say, “I just updated my Microsoft - “
CLIENT: Microsoft isn’t working either. Find a solution for that while you’re at it.

RTH10260 · **Posted:** Thu Mar 08, 2012 6:31 pm

Same source for our Canadian friends of Teh Fogblow:

Quote:

While figuring out the sizing of a poster for a client.
CLIENT: Wait… I see the 24”x36” option, but below it also says centimeters on it! Where are the centimeters? I don’t see them. Do they make it bigger that 24”x36”?
ME: No. We work with other countries and include metric measurements for them. It’s the same measurement.
CLIENT: But these are entirely different numbers! What backwards countries do you guys work for?
ME: Canada, mostly.
CLIENT: I thought they were civilized there!

realist · **Joined:** Fri Jan 23, 2009 1:33 pm **Posts:** 23521

I'll be really nice and won't participate in this thread.

My clients are attorneys.

shrek · **Posted:** Thu Mar 08, 2012 6:47 pm

Aaaw go on! :twisted:

RTH10260 · **Posted:** Thu Mar 08, 2012 7:02 pm

Same source for our Canadian friends of Teh Fogblow:

Quote:

While figuring out the sizing of a poster for a client.
CLIENT: Wait… I see the 24”x36” option, but below it also says centimeters on it! Where are the centimeters? I don’t see them. Do they make it bigger that 24”x36”?
ME: No. We work with other countries and include metric measurements for them. It’s the same measurement.
CLIENT: But these are entirely different numbers! What backwards countries do you guys work for?
ME: Canada, mostly.
CLIENT: I thought they were civilized there!

Falsehoods unchallenged only fester and grow.

Clients from Hell

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