He, Lucas Daniel Smith,
haz a mad cuz no "indigent Obot" placed an eBay bid to get that lovely certificate of appreciation and discover where His, Lucas Smith's kidney is:
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I don’t ever want to hear another word from indigent Obots about wanting to know more about the sale of my kidney. I offered, for a mere $100.00 US Dollars, details such as the names of the kidney Transplant Coordinator, kidney Transplant Physician and kidney Transplant Surgeon (contained in my Certificate of Appreciation). Additionally, I offered two chapters from my trendy unpublished book, Kidney: A Memoir Written In Third-Person, which contains the hospital’s name, names of doctors, locations, an incriminating email address and the first name of the kidney recipient/buyer.
For a mere $100.00 all of Obotopia would have known the whereabouts of Lucas D. Smith’s missing left kidney.
I don't know, Lucas. How could no one be curious about your awesomeness?
Oh, and he's fixing to bring down that usurper, too, with the help of a sidekick:
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I hope that everyone, including Obotapians and Barack Obama and his family, enjoyed bringing in the new year! Additionally I hope that everyone is looking forward to a masterful new year in which Lucas D. Smith (with assistance of Kenyan doctor Mary/Merry Othigo) will successfully petition the US Government to legally, and in a safe and non-violent fashion, remove Barack Hussein Obama II from Office of the President of the United State of America.
And He, Lucas Smith, also takes the opportunity to get his bigot on:
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Obots are big talkers but never much for action. I remember once back in 2010 when I ran into three Obots at a federal court hearing in Florida. One was a black American (although he was very white under the skin) and the other was a white American. The white was skinny like a stick and his Adam’s Apple protruded out like some sort of little alien was ardently attempting to escape from his neck. His eyeglasses looked the the type of eyewear that was issued in prison (big, chunky, ugly-colored and thick) and I got the impression (and so did everyone else) that he and his black “buddy” (for info see the 1989 released song “Buddy“ by De La Soul) probably get mail at the same address. The black was awkwardly built and his goofy clothing looked like something a white person would throw on to make fun of black people. Later on in the court hearing another black American showed up and offered a limp handshake to the white and the other black. This new Obot didn’t look absolutely homo like his two friends but he did look like he probably slept very near the court house, like maybe really and truly close as in the alley two streets up from the court house. When I saw him up close in his bird-face it looked like he probably should have stopped at the gas station bathroom to wash his face (and maybe his shirt too).
The first black Obot was constantly winking his eye at a black female court bailiff (by the way she was dirty butter ugly) like he was trying way too hard to prove beyond reasonable doubt that he was really black and not just some Oreo cookie frog face who probably prefers, although its not easy for him to admit, baked chicken to fried chicken.
At any rate, these three Obot crash test dummies were all huddled together in the courtroom looking like they were preparing to dance West Side Story. But they didn’t do anything but talk and pretend.
What's the matter, Lucas? Couldn't fit in a watermelon reference?
Edit: ETA: Oh, and a shoutout to some Fogbowsers:
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Lucas Daniel Smith aka InspectorSmith and associates at New Year’s Eve and New Year 2012. Apologetic white American Obots (e.g., Dr Conspiracy) and corny black internet American Obots (e.g., jayHG) did not show up. I believe it was due in part to their sense of self-preservation and fear of prematurely entering the great beyond.
Where's the "what an asshole" smiley?