The next matter also concerned a pile of Orly's poopies. Judge Reid was even less happy with this irregularly-shaped pile of whatever held together with rubber bands. In fact, she states that these documents, received from Orly and the parties, has been labeled "Mystery," as it is neither exhibits nor evidence, and in fact, the court has no idea what it is. Judge Reid issues another stern admonition that discovery is not to be filed with the court except pursuant to trial rules, reminding everyone again that attorneys and pro se litigants alike are required to follow the court rules. She then hands Orly back her second pile of garbage.
Judge Reid then moves on to another matter. She is (rightly) irritated that parties have been submitting motions without proposed orders attached. Even more, parties have been submitting papers, against the rules, not only without proposed orders but without pre-addressed envelopes with correct postage applied. Again, Judge Reid directs her admonition to both sides, but again, it is only Orly who appears to have failed utterly to obey the local rules. In fact, one of Orly's screeches, as noted earlier, was complaining about having received a proposed order from the AG's office.
Judge Reid elaborates on this rule, noting that it is over 25 years old, again noting that pro se plaintiffs as well as attorneys are obligated to follow the rules. She notes that none of the filings of Orly or her FMs has complied with this rule. "That will stop." She continues, stating that noncompliant filings will not be accepted.
Judge Reid's next housekeeping matter is the receipt of duplicative pleadings, basically by Orly and her FMs. She notes that FMs have walked in to her office and delivered papers, and that then, the next day, the same papers show up by FedEx or other means. She explains that this results in clerks having to perform unnecessary work, and that in processing the paperwork, they create docket entries that are basically meaningless and confusing, and that this practice must end. Similarly "extraneous" documents are useless.
Again, the judge renews her demand that these parties adhere to the rules. Needless to say, this is the cry of a judge who has been flooded with endless piles of garbage from paper terrorists.
Orly attempts to go into a screech about disappearing subpoenas and similar Orly word salad. This is shut down nearly immediately. Judge Reid's facial expression is that of a person who just bit into a ripe persimmon.
She demands, at some time, that Orly, as well as her supposedly fellow pro se plaintiffs, admit they agree to comply by the local rules and that their noncompliant filings will not be accepted. Amusingly, she once states that she "hears" their nods of agreement, and this is quickly corrected, but she still insists on audible acknowledgments and agreements. (Working from written notes, I can't place this in time exactly.)
Finally, nearly a half hour into the hearing, we get to the so-called "substance."
The first step in this direction comes from the fact that one of Orly's witless witnesses is present. Charlie White, the previous Secretary of State of Indiana, is actually present, with counsel. I have no opinion of why he is present and do not think he is a birther. His current legal situation is well known here and needs no elaboration. Orly's opinion is that she wants his testimony as to whether Indiana's current Secretary of State somehow committed a bunch of crimes by not kowtowing to Orly's lunacy.
I believe that at this point, both Shelby and Garn oppose White's testimony in the case. While White has, in fact, actually shown up, with counsel, he does not testify. During arguments, the AG's office consistently opposes any witnesses during this motion to dismiss. There is something of an attempt to get White's counsel to talk to the court. This is unsuccessful, as Judge Reid does not believe either White or his counsel have formally appeared. I think the transcript will probably reflect this. Transcripts usually indicate formal appearances.
This is about 2:04. The State's argument is that this is a petition for judicial review of an agency decision, and that under the AOPA, this is limited strictly to the record itself. The State also argues that the plaintiffs in this case simply never adhered to the proper procedure for challenging an agency decision.
Orly's response, devoid of legal argument, is to screech that Attorney Garn was involved in the prosecution of White, and that this is why he doesn't want White testifying. Orly also makes a lengthy screech that her FAC fixes every problem with her original defective complaint. This incoherent attempt at an argument eventually ends. It also includes an attempt to argue that since Orly, in her FAC, tried to reframe her defective agency decision challenge as fraud, negligence, and a bunch of other nonsense, she should be allowed to ignore the rules.
Judge Reid clearly views this issue the same way as the defense. She asks for legal arguments on this issue, why plaintiffs should be allowed to proceed in their case challenging an agency decision without following the rules.
At this point, we get into another polling of the other supposedly pro se plaintiffs.
Bob Kern, a bizarre character, notes that he is required to know the law, but then states that he doesn't. After an attempt to start rambling, Judge Reid shuts it down, pointing out that this is not a legal argument.
Weyl complains that the IEC were big meanies and didn't listen much to birfers. He objects to their "tone." Needless to say, this whining isn't a legal argument either. Judge Reid makes a "time-out" signal with her hands and ends this nonsense.
Kesler then actually does what nobody, including Orly, has even attempted. He argues that the IEC violated its own rules in disregarding evidence, refused to listen to evidence, and made a bad decision. Echoing my own private thoughts, the judge comments that this is the "best argument I've heard so far." While his attempt to make an argument included the Soetoro/Soebarkah nonsense and other birth certificate stuff, it was in fact the best articulation of the birther position in this case. I'd say look to the transcript.
Swihart then attempted to go off on a rant about the Social Security number. He was instructed that he needed to come up with a legal argument about the actual question, that is, why shouldn't this case be dismissed for not following proper procedure. Swihart also references the "200 pages of evidence" that we already know as 200 pages of inadmissible bullshit. This ends quickly.
Counsel for the AG points out that the only people with standing in this case are Weyl, Swihart and Kessler. Orly isn't even a citizen of Indiana, just an out of state lunatic (okay that bit is me). Bob Kern was just a random audience member at the IEC hearing. Where's his standing?
AG counsel notes that there is a podcast of the IEC hearing. AG recaps the original argument that this case simply was not properly brought. As the AG noted before (and I did not mention since this boring real law stuff does not contribute to the freak show), the petitioners/plaintiffs absolutely failed to comply with the AOPA in seeking judicial review. Most critically, the Ps neither submitted nor attempted to obtain the agency record.
Judicial review of an agency decision, clearly, is impossible without the agency record. The obligation to obtain this record is upon the plaintiff. Should the agency be obdurate, the plaintiff could file for an extension. None of these Ps did anything remotely like that. There is no indication they even tried.
At this point, before Orly figures out the writing is on the wall, her own FMs start asking for extensions of time. Orly eventually echoes these.
Bob Kern, whose standing apparently stems from being an outraged audience member at the IEC hearing (his disruption of the hearing is noted in my report and in the record), is the one who first brings this up, again admitting that he doesn't know the law.
By this point, time has already run out.
If you've noted the time, we're at around 2:30 p.m. at this point. The judge has noted the shortness of time, and is not interested in extending the hearing.
The judge notes that the hour is up and the hearing is about to be over, but extends time a bit. Orly starts sputtering and jabbering, starting out with "This is a joke!" She also calls the court "totally biased." She then starts screeching that she paid airfare and put up her so-called witnesses in a hotel, but they weren't allowed. This seems to indicate to me that the exclusion of Orly's witnesses was prior to the hearing.
Orly then screeches some more that the court already made its decision before the hearing, and then emits another series of high-pitched screeches devoid of semantic content.
Judge Reid's response is to place her chin on her hand in the closest thing I have seen to a judicial facepalm.
Orly's idiotic payment of airfare and putting up her cadre of swindling liars in hotels gets zero sympathy. No, they're not allowed. Tough.
Judge Reid moves on to statements from other supposed pro se plaintiffs.
Kern offers an incoherent anecdote about a failed run for Congress in '98, and how he was kicked off the ballot in a similar ballot challenge. He offers tales of how he has often attended IEC hearings, which is consistent with my view of him as one of these random nutcases who always shows up to these things.
He states that he challenged his exclusion from the ballot successfully, which makes him more competent than Orly, and also states, and I don't necessarily believe it, that he had to produce his Social Security card and birth certificate.
During Kern's bizarre statement, Orly is turning around to make faces at him. I'm not sure why. He was doing a better job than she was.
In fact, Kern brought up the only possibly successful idea of the whole team. In speaking for his fellow pro se plaintiffs, Kern stated again that he didn't know the law, and then suggested the court should help people like him along.
The judge visibly shook her head no and informed Kern that no, courts absolutely cannot give legal advice to parties.
Kern asks for time to "get it together."
Orly gets another shot and complains that her critical and fatal failures are "minor technical deficiencies" and, amusingly, after making faces during Kern's attempts at arguments, basically requests a continuance to get it together.
Now we are at 2:41, over ten minutes past when Judge Reid clearly indicated the hearing would be over. Curtly ending the proceedings, she issues her decision on the record. The case is dismissed for failure to adhere to the proper procedures. The request for judicial review is invalid. The parties failed to comply with the rules. As a result, the court lacks jurisdiction. The court's hands are tied, because contrary to the claims of petitioners, the court is obligated to follow the law.
At 2:43, the final statement is the case is dismissed. The defendants are to provide the court with an order within 10 days. The court reiterates that this is to be done properly, echoing earlier statements.
I leave pretty soon.
Orly huddles with her group. I was close enough to hear other stuff, but will only comment that Orly's loud screeching included the word "corrupt" repeatedly, statements like she "can't believe how corrupt they are," and other unlawyerly behavior.
I'm sure I got the time wrong and some events out of sequence. The transcript (or video) will clear these up.
On the way down the elevator, I congratulated the state's attorneys and wished them luck on the motion for sanctions.
With luck, Orly's subsequent conduct will give them reason to renew this motion.
L—d! said my mother, what is all this story about? — A Cock and a Bull, said Yorick — And one of the best of its kind I ever heard. -- Sterne