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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2011 8:56 pm 
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New video from gay soldier Randy Phillips - and this conversation with mom unfortunately doesn't go quite as smoothly as the one with dad. Be prepared for many long, tense silences from ma's side of the conversation.

In the end, though, you may still have problems with dust - but keep your blood pressure meds handy. ;)


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2011 9:00 pm 
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The Ninth Circuit vacated the decision below and dismissed as moot today the Log Cabin Republicans case http://www.ca9.uscourts.gov/datastore/o ... -56634.pdf . (It was the only published 9th Circuit case today.)

Apparently not quite understanding what "moot" means, even as he confirmed the case was, RWNJudge Diarmuid O'Scannlain then proceeded to write a concurring opinion on the merits anyway, "reversing" the district court's decision.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2011 9:37 pm 
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Taverl wrote:
...
In the end, though, you may still have problems with dust - but keep your blood pressure meds handy. ;)

The most touching thing in these two videos, to me, is that he is concerned about his parents and whether they are OK.

I have shown the first video to two classes of intro sociology students. It fits into the current unit, which is on socialization -- how we learn to be humans, including how we learn to live with others. I asked the students to do what children learn to do -- take the role of the other. I could tell that was very uncomfortable for some of them, men and women. Others were moved.

How could his mother stoop to do what she tried to do to him? I hate that.

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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2011 11:23 pm 
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TollandRCR wrote:
How could his mother stoop to do what she tried to do to him? I hate that.


Contrast that call with the one to Dad.

:evil:


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 29, 2011 11:34 pm 
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Emma wrote:
TollandRCR wrote:
How could his mother stoop to do what she tried to do to him? I hate that.


Contrast that call with the one to Dad.

:evil:


Yeah, I can see why he chose to call Dad first.

"You know what the bible says?"

"What does it say, Ma?"

"..."

Poor guy.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:39 am 
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Taverl wrote:
"You know what the bible says?"

"What does it say, Ma?"

"..."

It says "LOVE THY BROTHER AS THYSELF." Hell, even I know that.

No, I don't think that literally means "be gay". I think it means, "Try to understand your fellow Earthlings even when they are very, very different from you, and don't condemn people who are different."

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 7:47 am 
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Could anybody understand what Randy Phillips said after the phone conversation with his mother ended? I think he was talking about the guilt trip that she tried to put on him.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 9:57 am 
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I think it was 'why'd you do that to me?' but I'm not 100% certain.


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 10:23 am 
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twinx wrote:
I think it was 'why'd you do that to me?' but I'm not 100% certain.

That perfectly fits with what his mother tried to do, and it fits with his expression as he leaves.

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 10:28 am 
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My brother decided to come out to my mother when we were on a trip to Minneapolis. I drove there from Bismarck with Mom. For 8 hours. Trapped in a car. (story for another time).

After my brother came out to her, she spent the several hours in the car on the trip back asking what she did wrong that my brother was gay. Did she eat something while pregnant? Didn't pay enough attention to him? Then she asked how long I had known. I had to be honest and say since we were kids. Then onto the "well why didn't you tell me".

8 hours in a car.

With my mother.

Going back to Bismarck.

I think we were both lucky to have survived. But she still holds out hope that my brother might "change his mind". ](*,) ](*,) ](*,)

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 3:51 pm 
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Jez wrote:
My brother decided to come out to my mother when we were on a trip to Minneapolis. I drove there from Bismarck with Mom. For 8 hours. Trapped in a car. (story for another time).

After my brother came out to her, she spent the several hours in the car on the trip back asking what she did wrong that my brother was gay. Did she eat something while pregnant? Didn't pay enough attention to him? Then she asked how long I had known. I had to be honest and say since we were kids. Then onto the "well why didn't you tell me".

8 hours in a car.

With my mother.

Going back to Bismarck.

I think we were both lucky to have survived. But she still holds out hope that my brother might "change his mind". ](*,) ](*,) ](*,)


Oh, Jez honey, that's awful, but I have to admit I also :lol: a bit.

I still can't get over the whole "change his mind" idea so many people still have. Like anybody would sit down and say to themselves: "Yes, I want to be potentially ostracized and ridiculed and beaten up and maybe even killed so I can sleep with somebody the same gender as me even though I'd be just as happy sleeping with the opposite sex. That sounds like fun!"

:roll:

Whenever I hear that "it's a choice" crap from someone, I want to ask them when they decided to be heterosexual. I certainly don't recall when I did.

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“I have seen purer liquors, better segars, finer tobacco, truer guns and pistols, larger dirk and Bowie knives, and prettier courtesans here in San Francisco than in any other place I have ever visited, and it is my un-biased opinion that California can and does furnish the best bad things that are obtainable in America." Hinton R. Helper -1855


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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 4:10 pm 
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Taverl wrote:
Jez wrote:
My brother decided to come out to my mother when we were on a trip to Minneapolis. I drove there from Bismarck with Mom. For 8 hours. Trapped in a car. (story for another time).

After my brother came out to her, she spent the several hours in the car on the trip back asking what she did wrong that my brother was gay. Did she eat something while pregnant? Didn't pay enough attention to him? Then she asked how long I had known. I had to be honest and say since we were kids. Then onto the "well why didn't you tell me".

8 hours in a car.

With my mother.

Going back to Bismarck.

I think we were both lucky to have survived. But she still holds out hope that my brother might "change his mind". ](*,) ](*,) ](*,)



Oh, Jez honey, that's awful, but I have to admit I also :lol: a bit.

I still can't get over the whole "change his mind" idea so many people still have. Like anybody would sit down and say to themselves: "Yes, I want to be potentially ostracized and ridiculed and beaten up and maybe even killed so I can sleep with somebody the same gender as me even though I'd be just as happy sleeping with the opposite sex. That sounds like fun!"

:roll:

Whenever I hear that "it's a choice" crap from someone, I want to ask them when they decided to be heterosexual. I certainly don't recall when I did.


I kinda laugh about it now.

I haven't asked my dad his feelings on the repeal of DADT. He made a career of the USAF (23-1/2 yrs). I'm almost afraid to ask him considering how conservative he is. Don't get me wrong, Dad did eventually accept my brother's homosexuality, and even his partner at the time, but it did take him a couple of months. Mom was the last one he came out to, specifically for the reasons stated above. Because somehow she would make it her fault. But.. that is a story for my therapist. :)

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 4:36 pm 
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Sterngard Friegen wrote:
The Ninth Circuit vacated the decision below and dismissed as moot today the Log Cabin Republicans case http://www.ca9.uscourts.gov/datastore/o ... -56634.pdf . (It was the only published 9th Circuit case today.)

Apparently not quite understanding what "moot" means, even as he confirmed the case was, RWNJudge Diarmuid O'Scannlain then proceeded to write a concurring opinion on the merits anyway, "reversing" the district court's decision.

From RWNJudge's concurring opinion:
Quote:
In this highly charged area, we constitutionally inferior courts should be careful to apply established law. Failure to
do so begets the very errors that plagued this case. That failure culminated in a ruling that invalidated a considered congressional policy and [highlight]imposed a wholly novel view of constitutional liberty on the entire United States.[/highlight] The Supreme Court’s cases tell us to exercise greater care, caution,and humility than that. Indeed, our constitutional system
demands more respect than that. [highlight]When judges sacrifice the rule of law to find rights they favor, I fear the people may one day find that their new rights, once proclaimed so boldly,have disappeared because there is no longer a rule of law to
protect them.[/highlight]

That's it, Your Honor. Scare people into believing that "the other" getting "new rights" threatens everyone else's. :evil:

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PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 8:45 pm 
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Salon Sept. 30, 2011 The coming-out story that gripped the world by Mary Elizabeth Williams [color emphasis mine]
Quote:
It's a powerful moment of unscripted, unhesitant acceptance – one that has rapidly made Phillips an inspiration all over the world. The beauty of the clip isn't just Phillips' poised candor; it's just as present in his father's rapid, unconditional response. As one typical commenter noted, "Your dad gives me hope." This being YouTube, of course, there's also plenty of stomach-churning homophobia in the mix as well, but the positive impact of the video is undeniable. As they end their conversation, in a moment every parent should tuck away for future reference, Dad lays it out plainly. "You're my son and I'm very proud of you."
...
In all of his videos, both anonymous and full-faced, Phillips presents himself as a thoughtful, grounded young man. He's frank without being timid or confrontational, asking a colleague, "Are you cool with it?" after he comes out to him. That's why, though his clips are moving and eloquent, there's an "ambush" aspect to them as well. Speaking of not asking and not telling, Phillips does neither when he's videoing his conversations with his parents. To be fair, he may have obtained permission off-camera later, but the drama of his family's spontaneous reactions is mitigated by the implied intrusiveness of sharing them with the world.

Yet in their rawness, Phillips' videos show that coming out is an experience that affects not just the person talking, but the one listening as well. When his mother admits, "I'm just in shock," and "I'm worried about your spiritual well being ... you better be, too," it's not exactly ideal, but it's truthful. Not everyone can be like Phillips' fellow solider, who shrugs a casual "It's all good" when he comes out to him.

In that regard, Phillips' message is vital to both gays and straights -- it's a shining example of how different people will react in different ways to the same information, and how expectations on both sides can be challenged. What's no big deal to your buddy may cause a whole lot of soul searching for your mom. And the best gift we can all ever give each other is the space to let whatever love and acceptance already exists crowd out doubts, confusion and fear. Sometimes, a person just needs a little time to gain perspective, as Phillips clearly seems to intuit when he tells his mother, "I didn't want you to find out after I was married to a woman for 10 years, and have everything fall apart. I wanted to tell you when I was still young, Mom."

A response to Randy Phillips, the gay soldier who came out to his parents

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 3:27 pm 
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Part of the problem.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 3:43 pm 
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Floating head man needs to mind his own business.


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:14 pm 
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Emma wrote:
Floating head man needs to mind his own business.

More than that, he needs to FOAD.

Not a death threat.

might be something of a death wish, though.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:16 pm 
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TollandRCR wrote:
Part of the problem.


Remind me again why it was a good idea to make computers and the Internet simple enough that even pinheads can use them now.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:19 pm 
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And floating head's contribution to society, other than being a hallucinatory, hateful, supposed Christian . . . is what?

Has floating head served in the military? Or done Christian things for others. Such as matters of charity?

For too many people accepting religion means to become an unthinking intolerant boor. Or worse. That's true for floating head. Yet another twit who has found an excuse for being a hateful asshole by embracing a superstition which is Government protected.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:32 pm 
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Sterngard Friegen wrote:
And floating head's contribution to society, other than being a hallucinatory, hateful, supposed Christian . . . is what?

Has floating head served in the military? Or done Christian things for others. Such as matters of charity?

For too many people accepting religion means to become an unthinking intolerant boor. Or worse. That's true for floating head. Yet another twit who has found an excuse for being a hateful asshole by embracing a superstition which is Government protected.

Hey, he's doing his bit!


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PostPosted: Sat Oct 01, 2011 5:35 pm 
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It's people like this f*ckwit that make me ](*,) and have undone an entire childhood of private Christian schools and regular Sunday services. When I told my dad I'd gotten a tattoo, he was not pleased and mentioned the Biblical prohibition against them. I then asked him about the last time he had spareribs for dinner and he never brought it up again.

Honestly, if all these so-called "Christians" actually obeyed every stricture in the Bible... they'd be Hasidic Jews or fundamentalist Muslims.

religioustolerance.org has an interesting list of sins punishable by death - not that any of these fundie nutjobs pay any attention to any of the passages that inconvenience them... :roll:

People like this make God cry.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 3:16 am 
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Taverl wrote:
It's people like this f*ckwit that make me ](*,) and have undone an entire childhood of private Christian schools and regular Sunday services. When I told my dad I'd gotten a tattoo, he was not pleased and mentioned the Biblical prohibition against them. I then asked him about the last time he had spareribs for dinner and he never brought it up again.

:lol: reminds of the day, when I was around 14 years old, that I refused to say Grace before dinner. My father was not amused, but I stuck to my guns and asked why I should thank god when mom was the one who made dinner? I think my mom snorting laughter was why the subject was dropped. Grace was never said around our table again. RAmen.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 9:19 am 
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Foggy wrote:
Quote:
"you are going to have recruits from Alabama or other rural areas who have never been exposed to this lifestyle choice ..."

Wow, you learn something every day here on Fogbow.

I would have suspected that there were gay people in Alabama.

In rural areas, too.

Go figure!


And that isolation allows all kinds of harassment and assaults.

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 9:00 pm 
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That's my President!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 03, 2011 9:06 pm 
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My natural father was a poet and an actor. My Mum was a free spirit. My Godfather, Hugh was an openly gay guy back in 1960, when I was born. I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for him back in 1960. It is amazing to me how we have yet to progress. How hard it was for this Marine to tell his Mom that he was gay, and how judgmental she was, of her own son. For some there are no hope I guess.

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