I finally got a close look at putative president nObama's "birth certificate" and I must say, I finally agree with what I've been reading on World Net Daily. In the interest of truth I gave the birth certificate a rigorous review, and because I have rigorously reviewed many things in my life, I think it's fair to say my qualifications as a rigorous reviewer are unimpeachable.

First of all, a disclaimer: The illustrations below are just photographs of the birth certificate. These pictures, which I took, are in themselves worthless for any authentication of the birth certificate -- they are merely "images on the internet," to coin a phrase. Nor are they, of course, what nObama actually released. What he actually released is sitting on a shelf in my office, and it is to that which I shall refer.

Second: It's important to frame the discussion accurately. What questions can I actually ask, and answer, by way of my rigorous review of the birth certificate? Simply this: Could it possibly be legitimate? Or is Hussein the greatest swindler the world has ever known, pretending to be president in defiance of the Constitution, while brandishing a fraudulent mug, a clear forgery?



So let's start with my final answer: the birth certificate could not possibly be legitimate. And it is so obviously, laughably fraudulent, that one is forced to ask: Are they toying with the American people? Do they think we're stupid?? Well, we're not. That is why the attached affidavit, enumerating the factually empirical results of my rigorous review, is being mailed and faxed to every law enforcement officer in the country, every Congressman, every Senator, and every Supreme Court Justice.

No longer will those who have the power to end this travesty be able to ignore the depths of calumny to which the squatter in OUR White House has sunk.



A. It's on a CUP, for chrissake! Have you ever heard of a birth certificate being on a cup? Neither have I. So right away one becomes suspicious.

B. The signatures. Are we expected to believe Hussein's mama and some doctor signed this thing? I made some independent tests, and it's nearly impossible. The surface is curved, and glossy. The best results I achieved were with a "Sharpie," but note: "Sharpies" did not exist yet in 1961! What forger would ever be this stupid?

C. There's a handle on the side. Aside from the obvious -- there is NO mention of handles on the official vital records guidelines issued by the CDC -- this is a dead giveaway that this putative president is trying to manipulate the American people. If everyone grips the handle, only left-handed people are left without a view of the birth certificate -- less than 10%. But they must have known that determined document examiners like myself would not stop there and view the evidence only from the preferred "official" vantage point. In fact, I used their handle against them, turning the cup every which way.

D. The pixels and the flaws of the printing job. The officials in Hawaii are either complicit or incompetent. I vote for complicit. Consider: If there were any doubt as to whether this really was a fraudulent mug, rather than a real birth certificate, it is resolved by examining the green security backing with care. They probably didn't expect someone with my acumen and visual acuity to review it -- which in itself suggests that they are up to no good.

E. The overall curvature, and the size. Sure, it matches the contour of the cup, they'll say. What a curious coincidence! Plus: what typewriter typed this small in 1961? It's not like they had digital typography allowing them to "scale" the "fonts" like we can today on the Home Computer. It's insulting to imagine that they thought they could get away with this. Even if it were possible to put a mug through a typewriter -- it's just impossible, due to the inflexibility of the porcelain.

F. The promotional web address. I know -- you'll say they just added that recently. True. Just because they didn't have internet "Dot Com" sites in 1961 is NOT a cause to be suspicious of this. But think about it: What is the purpose of that address (I won't give it legitimacy by retyping it here)? It is to promote the illegal presidential campaign! The medium is the message, morons (that libtard McLuhan got one thing right). Do you see?? It's hiding in plain sight: (a) PROOF that the birth certificate has been tampered with, and (2) PROOF that this birth certificate is not a simple historical document, but rather the pinnacle of an elaborately orchestrated public relations campaign.

So go ahead ... let the 0bots, fogblowers and libtards think they could register for Little League with one of these. Let them think Hussein conveniently "forgot" to mention in his book that when he found his original birth certificate in his mother's closet, that it was a mug. You'd think he would mention something like that. HA! We now know the truth -- he is a fraud and a cheat. God bless!

< Notary Seal > < Date > < Signature >

Please, please get assistance of professional counsel to help you enumerate the "factually empirical results of [your] rigorous review" in proper legal format so that they are memorialized as self-validating evidence.* Among other things, you'll need to swear that you are free of mental defects and are fully competent to opine as an expert.

It is especially important that you do this soon, before something untoward happens to you.

BTW, I've never noticed the handle before. Brilliant!! For me, that was the clincher. That mug has gotta be a fraud.

___
You might consider Dr. Orly Taitz, Esquire. I've heard that her fees are quite reasonable.

You are very kind, but note, this is a first draft. You can tell because none of the SSNs are redacted.

I have already been in touch with expert professional counsel and you will not believe what is developing! Very exciting news which I am not at liberty to divulge.

Don't make us stage an intervention.

My understanding is that you've actually paid good money for that . . . forgery. I hear that a civil rights lawyer, a latter day combination of Thurgood Marshall, Nelson Mandela and Natasha Fatale is looking for plaintiffs to bring a class action!

And you can be the LEAD PLAINTIFF.

You know what this will do, don't you? It will give you standing to try to see the real fake one in Honolulu.

Simply call or write:

I demand to see tHe book, in which all of these birth certificate mugs are bound. There isn't a single staple hole in the one you posted, nor is there any staples in the one on the White House website. I've tried to put staples into the website image, on 3 different computers, and it won't match up.


BTW, I have 3 computer monitors for sale, for some reason they won't display anything, and each has some very small, insignificant holes in them. Make an offer

ROFL!

Orly is going orgasmic. This will undoubtedly, and soon, appear before some beleaguered court as another zibbit ... (it may be on its way now).

"So what do you expect ... I had to translate the whole Taft syllabus into Moldovan." Orlee

I'm totally disgusted by the analysis of this expert!

While I believe he hammered the family piggy bank to get possession of this questionable piece of evidence I see no shards of evidence that the expert went into any considerable effort to debunk the question of lawyers, nor was the question of a putative Kenyan origin of this vessel ever followed up. Every Nigerian spammer with the intent of sharing $2 million of hidden money for hidden documents knows how to properly apply a Made in the USA stamp to an email.

SHARDS?!?!? You want shards? Try putting staples into these forgeries, I've got shards all over the desk in my COLB forgery examination lab. (and mom's pissed, she wants her sewing table cleaned off)


When all is said and done, the staple issue is gonna be what does the usurper in!

I've sold a monitor like that from time to time. They would generally net me a -$5.00 at my local trash disposal facility.

Damn, Zeke, I'da given you at least -$10.00 each for those. Maybe even -$15.00 each! Keep me in mind next time!