Please! Help! Someone talk me down! My wife's mother just sold her house. She was in negotiations for a condo but the deal fell through. NOW SHE'S LIVING ABOVE MY LIVING ROOM. Granted, its the formal living room we never use, but, still, she is a total RWNJ/birfer. She buys into every BS chain-email she receives from her friends. It actually goes even deeper than that. She apparently knows EVERYTHING about anything. She knows more about jewelry than Dallasette, who studies at the Gemological Institute of America and spent a year learning to grade diamonds at a mine in South Africa. She knows more about moving than I, who work for 12 years with the top moving company in Dallas (clients include Jerry Jones, Bill Hicks, William Winspear...). FUCK!!!! I need a reeeeaaaaaly strong drink!

Book her on RC's show for next week. Have Foogie, BB and Stern call in w/questions. She will close on a condo by Wednesday.

Egads dude, who'd you annoy in a past life?

Step one: block (parental control) FoxNews on the cable box.

That is a brilliant idea.

Step two: borrow the Tardis and marry an orphan. That's what my mom always told me to do.

And remove the radios too.

Disengage and detach from arguments or else you will lose, but media control is a great idea!

In such situations, I have found perversity to be a satisfying tactic. Never disagree or argue. On the contrary, agree and extend any point to its logical extreme until she is forced to take a more moderate position than you. All the while stay charming and agreeable.

Oh, that's exactly what I need to do. I am very good at letting nutjobs run to the end of their leashes and choke on the dead stop.

Oh, Dallas! You can get through this. Lots of deep breaths. It is only temporary.


I am so, so sorry.

If you move within the county

If you move within the same county simply go to the Secretary of State's web site and change your address online or promptly notify the County Voter Registrar, in writing, of your new address by:

correcting your current voter registration certificate on the back and returning it to the County Voter Registrar;
filling out a new voter registration application form and checking the "change" box; or
making simultaneous changes to your driver's license and voter registration when you apply for or update your driver's license.
You will receive a new certificate with your new address. You will be able to vote in your new precinct 30 days after your change of address is submitted. If you miss the deadline (30 days before an election), you may vote in your former precinct as long as you still reside in the political subdivision conducting the election.

Your residence is located in a specific "precinct," which is an area within the county. There are many precincts within a county. The place where you will vote on Election Day is located in your precinct. There may be combined precincts in order to accommodate joint local elections; therefore, in some elections you may vote outside your designated precinct. The County Clerk or County Elections Administrator can give you the specific location of your polling place, or you can check on-line to see if the County Clerk or Elections Administrator has that information posted. The Secretary of State’s Office may also provide polling place information at the “Where do I vote” link on its webpage prior to the primary, primary runoff and November uniform election date elections.

If you move to another county
You must re-register! Fill out a new application and mail it, or take it in person, to the Voter Registrar of your new county. You may not register online if you move from one county to another. You will be registered 30 days after your application is submitted. You will receive a new certificate.
After changing residence to another county, a person may be eligible to vote a “limited” ballot in his/her new county of residence on candidates or issues common to the old and new counties. A “limited” ballot may be voted only during early voting by personal appearance or by mail (not on Election Day) if:

the person would have been eligible to vote in the county of former residence on Election Day if still residing in that county;
the person is registered to vote in the county of former residence at the time the person offers to vote in the county of new residence; and
a voter registration for the person in the county of new residence is not effective on or before Election Day.

Looks like she's affected your typing!

She left for the evening. I had to leave the discussion or risk a huge argument. It was much calmer in my bedroom. Aside from birfer topics, she insists she knows more about everything that anyone she is talking with. And she tried to tell me her three years in the "healthcare industry" made her an expert. This was in responce to my question about long term health insurance. She has paid $500/month for it for 5 years and a is still in almost perfect health. She says she pays $1300 in insurance : heatlh, long-term and auto. She sill has her cell phone bill too, also, which I can understand. We think she can save $1000 to $1200 per month. She says only about $500 per month. She has put off payments for seversal past dues she says she will make good now that she has received her payment but that will leave, "maybe", $40000.00. Not neough to get a condo. She took out a HELOC but now says (after 40 years in the real estate industry) that she didn't realize the Home Equilty Line of Credit didn't involve using her home as collateral. She also claims, after 3 years in the health care industry, which involved selling senior's estates) she knows all about the healthcare industry. I have to take Klonopin just to deal with her. After several strong Seagrams & 7's I'm calming down tonight.

Oh, I'm so sorry Dallasite!

I agree with the suggestion re: parental block on Faux. Perhaps a scrambler for the radio, too?

And for you...be careful with the Seagrams when it's time for your meds, please! And maybe a new iPod and earbuds to be worn whenever your MiL begins speaking?

May be a good way to catch up on some audiobooks...

I ain't moving. If it grows into a major situation, Dallasette's sister sives about 200 yards from us. My MIL can leave if she wants. This is MY house and Dallasette supports me in this.

If Dallasette supports you there is only one thing for you to do. Usually I don't give this valuable legal advice for free. I am making an exception in your case.

I think Esseff's counsel if fabulous.

I have found the following phrases quite helpful:

"Huh; I've never thought about that." Then ask MIL if she needs something from the grocery story or pharmacy.
"Thanks for letting me know _________ . I'll have to think about that." (Look sincere and then walk away.)
"How interesting" .... change the subject
"Really? Oh, hey, can you give me a few minutes; I have to do _______________." "___________", of course, takes at least 5 mins.
"That reminds me; I've been meaning to ask you" Ask some mundane question that is completely unrelated to the topic.
"That reminds me of _____________ " Of course, _________ needs to be something completely unrelated to what dear MIL was talking about.
"Huh. Oh, before I forget; are you in the mood for tacos for dinner?"
"That's really interesting; could you remember to email the info to me later on?" MIL won't remember. If she does, you will forget to follow up with her.
"Really? Oh crap; I left my _______ in my car. I'll be right back."
"Did you hear that noise? I thought I heard the cat. Where is she anyway?"

Walk away or change the subject. Both usually work.

1 other thing I try. Turn on the tv or the radio. She'll stop talking long enough to see what your going to watch or listen to.

MIL doesn't need to own whatever she lives in. She can always rent. Does Dallasette's sister have a larger home? If so, MIL gets to move!

I think MIL is lying about her insurance payments.

Agree with . No one should ever make you feel like you need a strong drink. Stay strong. Move her bags 200 yds over or find her a nice HUD-subsidized senior apartment ASAP.

Turn on Rachel Maddow

Watch the movie "8 Heads in a Duffel Bag." Note how they fixed Fern.

I FEEL YOUR PAIN MAN!

I am sorry to say, but after reasonable attempts to have reasonable conversation with people like this you have to learn to do meditation, and let it go. Easy to say when you live miles, or states or countries apart, very different story if she live under the same roof. Pretend she is two years old and NOT your child. Breath.

It's gotten worse in only a few hours. I'll be back soon.