Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#26

Post by maydijo » Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:44 pm

MRich wrote:
Sun Apr 22, 2018 6:08 pm

Alzheimer's scares me to death; every time I have a "mind fart" I think "is this it?" It's a horrible way to go.
It helps to remember that once you reach a certain point you have no idea what's going on anyway, so it's not so bad!

I remember one man I used to know (not work with directly because he was in the residential care section) - he was happy as Larry. Every time I'd see him he'd say, "I'm waiting for my friends. We're going to go for a bicycle ride and have a picnic." It didn't matter if it was summer or winter; it didn't matter that his friends never turned up; he was stuck in this beautiful happy moment of anticipation.

Then there was another woman (also in the residential section) who was stuck in her worst memory - her husband had just left her, she had four small children, and she didn't know how she was going to survive. Every time I saw her she'd tell me this story, and we'd all say, "But that's in the past. You survived. You raised four beautiful children who love you very much," and she'd be reassured for about five minutes, and then slip back into it.

After that I always think, As long as I'm happy and off with the fairies, it'll be okay. Just let me be stuck in a happy memory.



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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#27

Post by Sunrise » Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:45 pm

Off Topic
A good friend of my mother found a delightful way to help herself when she couldn't remember someone's name. She would sweetly say, "Please reintroduce yourself." I found it charming. :daydream:


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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#28

Post by Judge Roy Bean » Sun Apr 22, 2018 11:27 pm

Among my wife's very large family, two of her oldest male siblings (and of course their spouses), are dealing with later stage Alzheimer's. In addition, senile dementia has gone beyond the laughable stage for one of the family's two twin sisters that is still alive. It seems odd to everyone that one is debilitated and the other was untouched by the condition despite the stroke that took her life.

Needless to say, all of this is scary to Mrs. Bean and I because of the potential for genetic disposition, yet for now it seems we manage to deal with it by trying to not make too much of our own seemingly temporary mental foibles.

Technology may help rescue us to one degree or another but like my great grandfather, grand-uncle and father, I am diligently keeping together notes, documents and memorializations of my family's life for my children.

That's about all we can leave behind.


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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#29

Post by MN-Skeptic » Mon Apr 23, 2018 2:23 am

I had a cousin who died three years ago, at age 58, of Alzheimer’s. He was a brilliant computer person, very physically active, who started having problems about 10 years before his death. They have no idea why he developed it. His sister told me that one of the favorite things she would do is tell him about the folks in their family and then say “And YOU’RE a SMITH too.” And my cousin would be so tickled because “HE was a SMITH!”


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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#30

Post by Foggy » Mon Apr 23, 2018 5:49 am

My mother-in-law never did learn my name because of Alzheimer's. She just always called me Sweetie. I almost went and got a legal name change. 'Course, she was the sweetie. :lovestruck:


... and how does that make you feel?
What is it you are trying to say?
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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#31

Post by Slim Cognito » Mon Apr 23, 2018 8:53 am

Being adopted, family history is always a concern, but of all the issues, Alzheimer's worried me the most. Then my older brother (also adopted, but not biologically related) decided to find his birth mother. She's in the early stages of Alzheimer's. He's more stressed now than I am so I've decided to leave well enough alone and try to address my health in real time.

A few years ago, I was struggling with my memory and quite panicked about it. My doctor thought I was too young to start on medication and she suggested, after reading something (always been a big reader), to write down what I learned, including my opinion on that subject. I started keeping a journal and have noticed a huge improvement in my memory. Turns out that converting the incoming (reading) into outgoing (writing) is a great way to kickstart your brain functions. Who knew? (probably everyone but me, but there it is anyway).

On another note, as I skid into my sixth decade, looking in the rearview mirror, I feel Shirley this is at least my third reincarnation. Those faded memories can't possibly be real, can they? They must be really bad, (or really good?) dreams. Did I really do THAT?


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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#32

Post by Tiredretiredlawyer » Mon Apr 23, 2018 9:34 am

Slim Cognito wrote:
Mon Apr 23, 2018 8:53 am

On another note, as I skid into my sixth decade, looking in the rearview mirror, I feel Shirley this is at least my third reincarnation. Those faded memories can't possibly be real, can they? They must be really bad, (or really good?) dreams. Did I really do THAT?
It's interesting how many identities we have in one lifetime. :-D

My hubby's grandmother had dementia in her late 80's and lived with his parents for about a year. She and my then 4 year old son (The Kid) were best friends. They both lived in the present. She called him "that little boy". She couldn't remember my husband's name and called him "TRL'S husband". :lovestruck:


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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#33

Post by ObjectiveDoubter » Mon Apr 23, 2018 11:23 am

MRich wrote:
Sat Apr 21, 2018 6:52 pm
My dad is 87. His mother died at 91 from Alzheimer's; his older brother died at 77 from it (less than a year after diagnosis).

My dad is physically very healthy. He is outside all the time, taking care of the garden, the yard (double size, hedges), and whatever else needs done, so he's very active even though he is slowing down. And mentally, he's starting to get forgetful and absent minded, but he hasn't shown any signs of dementia.

But in the last few days, his mental state has me rattled. My mother's brother died a couple days ago, and maybe that has something to do with it. But when we were talking about going to the funeral, and I was telling them I would arrange for the hotel, he asked me if he should go to the bank and get traveler's checks. I said "what for?" - I was genuinely flabbergasted. He said "for the hotel." I told him we would use his credit card and he said "will a hotel take that?" I assured him that it would, that no one uses traveler's checks any more, and a hotel clerk probably wouldn't even know what one was. He seemed a little confused, but he dropped the matter.

Then last night I was with a friend and my mother called - she couldn't find my father, she'd looked all over the house and yard. She was really upset (rightly so), so I said I would be there in 5 minutes. As I neared the house, I saw my father walking along the road. I pulled over and rolled down the window and said "What the HELL are you doing?" and he said "I'm walking." He didn't act confused at all - he knew exactly where he was - he just wanted to take a walk. I told him to GET. IN. THE. CAR. He said he wanted to finish his walk, but I insisted and he got in the car, where I told him that Mom was going to kill him for worrying her. He wanted me to just drop him off at the driveway - I think he was figuring he would sneak back in the house - but I said I was going in with him, and he looked at my friend and said "you better come in too." He figured it would be safer with a non-family member there.

So, one incident of just weirdness, and another incident of thoughtlessness. If just one occurred, I would shrug it off, but ... well, I'm worried. In a couple days, we'll be heading to the funeral - 5 hours in the car (me driving), then 5 days of funeral stuff, visiting family, etc., and the drive back. I guess I'll be able to get a better idea of his mental state after that.

Just wanted to share this with someone, and it's helping me to vent a little.

Like the topic says - Aging is not for fraidy cats.
As someone who's been there, I advise you strongly to get him to go to a neurologist for diagnosis. It could be simple dementia. (Well, it's never simple.) There are all sorts of things to do for dementia and Alzheimer's, to lessen its impact. The earlier it's diagnosis, the easier to treat and the more effective treatment is. I did notice that traumatic incidents such as the death of a family member, made my dad ditzy, before he had actual dementia. This could be nothing with your dad, but absolutely best not to ignore it.

Ordinarily I'm not so pushy, but the fact that I am means that I know exactly what I am talking about, for a change!



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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#34

Post by stoppingby » Mon Apr 23, 2018 7:29 pm

ObjectiveDoubter wrote:
Mon Apr 23, 2018 11:23 am
MRich wrote:
Sat Apr 21, 2018 6:52 pm
My dad is 87. His mother died at 91 from Alzheimer's; his older brother died at 77 from it (less than a year after diagnosis).

My dad is physically very healthy. He is outside all the time, taking care of the garden, the yard (double size, hedges), and whatever else needs done, so he's very active even though he is slowing down. And mentally, he's starting to get forgetful and absent minded, but he hasn't shown any signs of dementia.

But in the last few days, his mental state has me rattled. My mother's brother died a couple days ago, and maybe that has something to do with it. But when we were talking about going to the funeral, and I was telling them I would arrange for the hotel, he asked me if he should go to the bank and get traveler's checks. I said "what for?" - I was genuinely flabbergasted. He said "for the hotel." I told him we would use his credit card and he said "will a hotel take that?" I assured him that it would, that no one uses traveler's checks any more, and a hotel clerk probably wouldn't even know what one was. He seemed a little confused, but he dropped the matter.

Just wanted to share this with someone, and it's helping me to vent a little.

Like the topic says - Aging is not for fraidy cats.
As someone who's been there, I advise you strongly to get him to go to a neurologist for diagnosis. It could be simple dementia. (Well, it's never simple.) There are all sorts of things to do for dementia and Alzheimer's, to lessen its impact. The earlier it's diagnosis, the easier to treat and the more effective treatment is. I did notice that traumatic incidents such as the death of a family member, made my dad ditzy, before he had actual dementia. This could be nothing with your dad, but absolutely best not to ignore it.

Ordinarily I'm not so pushy, but the fact that I am means that I know exactly what I am talking about, for a change!
I'm going to add my voice to the chorus - please consider having him tested. If it is alzheimers or dementia, you can start medication and other techniques that slows its progress. If its not, you have set your mind at ease. It's a win/win. And I've also been there, so I also am speaking from experience.

Although on the traveler's checks thing - after my dad died years ago, I took over the job of taking my mother to visit her brother and sister-in-law twice a year, a couple of states away. It was like time travel back to the 80s. She wanted to get traveler's checks ("from where?" I asked bewilderedly) And asked if I had one of those old calling cards that one used to charge long distance calls to your home phone. I told her I'd use my cell. My mother worried it wouldn't work in another state. When we left for the trip, she insisted on packing her handwritten directions, circa the Nixon years, so we would know how to get there. (I had gone there a million times. And had a Garmin. And my phone) Then as we got close, my mother insisted we call my uncle to tell him we were coming, and then HE insisted on giving me directions. When we got there, my aunt had all of these paper brochures so I could see what local attractions they had (Still had been there a million times, still had my phone.) Oh, and my mom wanted to pay for all the gas. She was very proud and insistent about this. So when we pull over to fill up the tank, my mom reaches into her purse and pulls out ..... $20! And this was when gas was $3.50 a gallon. At this point, all three of these people was mentally fine (although my mother later developed dementia.) but I just think that when the elderly are deal with situations (such as travel) that occur infrequently, they tend to revert to old habits without remembering that things have changed.



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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#35

Post by Lani » Mon Apr 23, 2018 7:52 pm

Me, too, on seeing a doctor - a specialist. Many things can cause the episodes you have seen. Multi infarct dementia can be treated to slow its progress. Some medications may be interacting and need to be adjusted. Dehydration can cause confusion. A lot of situations can look like Alzheimer's, but aren't. But even if it is, a diagnosis will open resources to help you and your dad. :bighug:


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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#36

Post by maydijo » Tue Apr 24, 2018 6:20 am

As a child and young adult I was pretty traumatized by my grandma's Alzheimer's. For me, the daily exposure to Alzheimer's and other for a of dementia as an adult had a healing quality. I know everyone is pressed for time, but if Alzheimer's scares you so very much, it might help to volunteer at a nursing home facility or for a community outreach program that serve dementia patients. I think it helps sometimes to not know who they were before - if you knew who they were, seeing who they are feels like a loss. But if you are plonked down with no context of who they used to be, you come to appreciate them for who they are, and you generally find you have a better understanding of why they are acting like that. That then helps your interaction with friends or family members who are suffering from dementia, and makes the entire process less frightening.



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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#37

Post by maydijo » Tue Apr 24, 2018 6:21 am

Also, bladder infections - very common and very serious in the elderly - can often present as dementia.



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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#38

Post by kate520 » Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:54 am

Here’s a folk remedy for bladder infections that works for me, maydijo,

1 bunch organic parsley in 1 quart water.
Simmer for 20 minutes, sip all day.

Toss after day 2, it breaks down quickly, even refrigerated, and tastes godawful (the second day, not bad the first).


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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#39

Post by Addie » Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:59 am

Is that parsley chopped? Or just soaking as a bunch?
kate520 wrote:
Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:54 am
Here’s a folk remedy for bladder infections that works for me, maydijo,

1 bunch organic parsley in 1 quart water.
Simmer for 20 minutes, sip all day.

Toss after day 2, it breaks down quickly, even refrigerated, and tastes godawful (the second day, not bad the first).


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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#40

Post by kate520 » Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:07 pm

Bunch. Remove the rubber band. :mrgreen: The stems are as important as the leaves,


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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#41

Post by Addie » Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:12 pm

Thanks!
kate520 wrote:
Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:07 pm
Bunch. Remove the rubber band. :mrgreen: The stems are as important as the leaves,


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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#42

Post by Bill_G » Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:15 pm

kate520 wrote:
Tue Apr 24, 2018 11:54 am
Here’s a folk remedy for bladder infections that works for me, maydijo,

1 bunch organic parsley in 1 quart water.
Simmer for 20 minutes, sip all day.

Toss after day 2, it breaks down quickly, even refrigerated, and tastes godawful (the second day, not bad the first).
I grow scads of parsley and garlic as prophylactic immune booster. A small wad of parsley with a small clove of garlic at least once a week has helped keep me healthy. I've accrued over 400 hours of sick time. Both get included in just about everything I eat except PB&J.



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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#43

Post by MRich » Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:16 pm

Thanks, everyone, for your thoughts on my father's situation.

Yesterday I spoke to my mother a bit about it. But we're getting ready to go to her brother's funeral and she really doesn't want to talk about it right now. I'll be keeping an eye on him this week, and hopefully get a better idea of the situation.



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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#44

Post by Bill_G » Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:21 pm

MRich wrote:
Sun Apr 22, 2018 6:08 pm
Alzheimer's scares me to death; every time I have a "mind fart" I think "is this it?" It's a horrible way to go.
I think everyone is. My grandmother once asked me to find a way to "end" her if she came down with it despite no family history of it. That was alarming on two levels - that she considered this an option, and that she thought of all her children and grandchildren I would be the one who would follow through. (yikes!)

Thankfully, I didn't have to exercise the option.



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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#45

Post by kate520 » Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:56 pm

The three herbs I love most I have a hard time growing.

Basil is also the chickens’ favorite. One bird alone can’t usually break through the fences/barriers, but when those girls gang up, forget it. They decimate the patch in less than an hour.
Garlic and parsley, I seem to kill. I either over or under water. Any tips, bill? I have an otherwise verdant thumb.


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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#46

Post by Bill_G » Tue Apr 24, 2018 2:03 pm

kate520 wrote:
Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:56 pm
The three herbs I love most I have a hard time growing.

Basil is also the chickens’ favorite. One bird alone can’t usually break through the fences/barriers, but when those girls gang up, forget it. They decimate the patch in less than an hour.
Garlic and parsley, I seem to kill. I either over or under water. Any tips, bill? I have an otherwise verdant thumb.
I live in a nice valley with alluvial loam. So, I have a good starting point.

There are two basic kinds of garlic - hard neck and soft neck. I grow hardneck Italian because it's hardier, and spicier. Softneck is the kind people braid together to dry. Hardneck has a stiff central stem that won't braid. Softneck tends to have larger cloves with milder flavor, but it can be finicky about soil moisture, and more prone to rot. Hardneck tends towards smaller cloves which is perfect for just the two of us, loves muck, heat, and withstands dry dirt though it stunts if left too dry for too long. Plant hardneck around Halloween on a south wall with full sun in well tilled clay with a minimum of amendments. Bury the bed in chopped leaves to overwinter. In late Spring, break off the flower heads as they form to encourage bulb growth. They should be ready around the beginning of August as the Summer heat causes the stems to fall over. Wait for the majority to fall over, and then gently spade the bed to free the cloves. Let them harden in the sun for a couple days. then trim off the roots and stems with pruners.

Parsley comes in a bunch vars. I grow big leaf Italian, and keep trimming out the new growth central stem to keep the plant from bolting. I've had some plants last three years this way. Parsley likes anything from rich garden soil to plain old dirt that grows weeds better than lawn. It overwinters in Oregon just fine as long as we don't get a freeze. I free seed all around the garden boundaries, and then as the starts come up, I thin them. Eventually a few show vigor, and after they have a few inches of height, I transplant them to full sun with a big scoop of compost. They will still try to bolt in late Summer. Let some go to seed so you have something to start over with.

Hope that helps.



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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#47

Post by RVInit » Tue Apr 24, 2018 2:52 pm

kate520 wrote:
Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:56 pm
The three herbs I love most I have a hard time growing.

Basil is also the chickens’ favorite. One bird alone can’t usually break through the fences/barriers, but when those girls gang up, forget it. They decimate the patch in less than an hour.
Garlic and parsley, I seem to kill. I either over or under water. Any tips, bill? I have an otherwise verdant thumb.
I love to garden and have had some wonderful success with growing just about anything. But, I never could grow garlic. Turns out most garlics just doesn't do well in Florida. But on my journey to find out about growing garlic I found this company and thought I would share it with you. I see they are now also selling seed potatoes and shallots, they only sold the garlic sets back when I was still gardening IIRC. Enjoy!

http://www.filareefarm.com/seed-garlic- ... e/home.php


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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#48

Post by Estiveo » Tue Apr 24, 2018 3:13 pm

kate520 wrote:
Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:56 pm
The three herbs I love most I have a hard time growing.

Basil is also the chickens’ favorite. One bird alone can’t usually break through the fences/barriers, but when those girls gang up, forget it. They decimate the patch in less than an hour.
Garlic and parsley, I seem to kill. I either over or under water. Any tips, bill? I have an otherwise verdant thumb.
I've had no luck growing garlic either, also, too. And I live within sniffing distance of Gilroy, CA.


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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#49

Post by Bill_G » Tue Apr 24, 2018 4:37 pm

RVInit wrote:
Tue Apr 24, 2018 2:52 pm
kate520 wrote:
Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:56 pm
The three herbs I love most I have a hard time growing.

Basil is also the chickens’ favorite. One bird alone can’t usually break through the fences/barriers, but when those girls gang up, forget it. They decimate the patch in less than an hour.
Garlic and parsley, I seem to kill. I either over or under water. Any tips, bill? I have an otherwise verdant thumb.
I love to garden and have had some wonderful success with growing just about anything. But, I never could grow garlic. Turns out most garlics just doesn't do well in Florida. But on my journey to find out about growing garlic I found this company and thought I would share it with you. I see they are now also selling seed potatoes and shallots, they only sold the garlic sets back when I was still gardening IIRC. Enjoy!

http://www.filareefarm.com/seed-garlic- ... e/home.php
Drive north from Flahduh to Ja-ja, get some of their red clay, mix in a bit of steer manure compost, and try again. It's a Mediterranean native and should suffer through your temps, but you may need to adjust your planting time earlier to give it more "winter" weather.



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Re: Aging - it's not for fraidy cats

#50

Post by RVInit » Tue Apr 24, 2018 5:00 pm

Bill_G wrote:
Tue Apr 24, 2018 4:37 pm
RVInit wrote:
Tue Apr 24, 2018 2:52 pm
kate520 wrote:
Tue Apr 24, 2018 12:56 pm
The three herbs I love most I have a hard time growing.

Basil is also the chickens’ favorite. One bird alone can’t usually break through the fences/barriers, but when those girls gang up, forget it. They decimate the patch in less than an hour.
Garlic and parsley, I seem to kill. I either over or under water. Any tips, bill? I have an otherwise verdant thumb.
I love to garden and have had some wonderful success with growing just about anything. But, I never could grow garlic. Turns out most garlics just doesn't do well in Florida. But on my journey to find out about growing garlic I found this company and thought I would share it with you. I see they are now also selling seed potatoes and shallots, they only sold the garlic sets back when I was still gardening IIRC. Enjoy!

http://www.filareefarm.com/seed-garlic- ... e/home.php
Drive north from Flahduh to Ja-ja, get some of their red clay, mix in a bit of steer manure compost, and try again. It's a Mediterranean native and should suffer through your temps, but you may need to adjust your planting time earlier to give it more "winter" weather.
:thumbs: Now I want to do some gardening again. I really miss having a large space and a place to grow a garden. It's not doable right now, but hopefully another garden will be in my future. I loved growing my own fresh food and also planting nothing but native trees, shrubs, ground cover, and wildflowers.


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