ducktape wrote:
Offtopic :
Do you see the rule as the second six-syllable double-dactyl having to be a single word, or is it allowed to have a six-syllable phrase in the proper meter? For example, I once worked for a company called Ampak (packaging machinery, natch), which was having a lot of QA problems with its products, leading to a lot of fingerpointing between inspection and the customers. So I wrote ...
Clackety Packety
Ampak machinery
Works till the point
That it's placed on the dock.
Somewhere in transit,
The gremlins work overtime.
Unhappy customers
Keep us in hock.
With two words making the second six-syllable pattern, is that still a true double-dactyl verse?

I like it, Ducky. It reads quite nicely and packs a humorous wallop directed at your former employer!

"Clackety packety" is quite good, IMO.
You meter is spot-on too. Even though most Americans will tend to ellide "machinery" to three syllables in everyday speech, it isn't too much to ask the reader to hear it as fully four syllables, so I wouldn't quibble about that. I would, however, move "the" from S2L2 ("the gremlins") to the end of the preceeding line.
But yeah, I'd have to say that omission of a six-syllable single word is more or less a deal-breaker, and I'm afraid any purist would agree. IMO, that isn't being overly picky since it's the most difficult chore in coming up with a fresh double-dactyl.
And if you REALLY want to be a purist, I've heard some say that the long word cannot have been used previously in any other double-dactyl. Except for famous ones, I'm not sure how one is supposed to prove that, but good poets avoid reusing words occuring in well-known examples of the form.
Edit: BTW, I'm not sure that limericks, Clerihews, double-dactyls and other humorous poetry are not always off-topic. Frankly, they don't really fit anywhere at FB as far as I can tell.
