Lawyer Objects To "Large Breasted Woman" In Courtroom

GreatGrey · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 5:11 pm

Quote:

MOTION IN LIMINE
(Presence of Plaintiff's Counsel's Companion at Counsel's Table at Trial).

Now Comes your Defendant, Exotic Motors, by and through their attorneys, Gauthier & Gooch, and as for their Motion as aforesaid states to the Court as follows:

1. That Defendant's counsel is anecdotally familiar with the tactics and theatrics of Plaintiff's counsel, [redacted]. Such behavior includes having a large breasted woman sit next to him at counsel's table during the course of the trial. There is no evidence whatsoever that this woman has any legal training whatsoever, and the sole purpose of her presence at Plaintiff's Counsel's table is to draw the attention of the jury away from the relevant proceedings before this court, obviously prejudicing the Defendant's in this or any other cause. Until it is shown that this woman has any sort of legal background, she should be required to sit in the gallery with the rest of the spectators and be barred from sitting at counsel's table during the course of this trial.

poutine · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 5:23 pm

If I were a judge, I would sanction counsel for bringing such a ridiculous, ill-researched and offensive motion.

Sterngard Friegen · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 5:29 pm

You're too fast, Poutine. Very unjudicial. I'd want to see the evidence first.

Plutodog · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 5:30 pm

Must be a "leg man". :-?

bob · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 5:32 pm

Sterngard Friegen wrote:

I'd want to see the evidence first.

Exhibits A & B?

shrek · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 5:32 pm

Is it too obvious to state that the biggest pair of tits seen in a courtroom must surely have been Orly Taitz and Charles Edward Lincoln III?

GreatGrey · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 5:36 pm

shrek wrote:

Is it too obvious to state that the biggest pair of tits boobs seen in a courtroom must surely have been Orly Taitz and Charles Edward Lincoln III?

Fixed it for ya.

Sterngard Friegen · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 5:36 pm

Twits, Shrek, not Tits.

shrek · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 5:44 pm

Sterngard Friegen wrote:

Twits, Shrek, not Tits.

I know what I meant.

Joseph Robidoux III · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 5:45 pm

Sterngard Friegen wrote:

[-X You're too fast, Poutine. Very unjudicial. I'd want to see the evidence first.

You mean the bare facts? :-k

poutine · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 5:48 pm

Sterngard Friegen wrote:

[-X You're too fast, Poutine. Very unjudicial. I'd want to see the evidence first.

Hey, I said it was ill-researched. If counsel wants to set an evidentiary hearing to establish the facts...

Sterngard Friegen · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 5:49 pm

shrek wrote:

Sterngard Friegen wrote:

Twits, Shrek, not Tits.

I know what I meant.

You're writing to Amurricans, Shrek.

Sod all.

shrek · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 5:54 pm

Sterngard Friegen wrote:

shrek wrote:

Sterngard Friegen wrote:

Twits, Shrek, not Tits.

I know what I meant.

You're writing to Amurricans, Shrek.

Sod all.

Ahm jist a diddie masel' :oops:

ducktape · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 6:06 pm

Back in the old days (perhaps when Stern was a young attorney), courtrooms were not the smoke-free environments that they are today.

The story was told that Clarence Darrow would light a cigar as his opponent began his final arguments. But sometimes this was a special cigar --one into which Darrow had inserted a wire so that the ashes would not fall off as he smoked it.

His opponent would make his argument, and Darrow would just sit there and smoke his cigar, and the ash on the end would get longer and longer and, soon, the attention of the jury would be fixed on this impossibly-long ash on the end of the cigar and not at all on what the other lawyer was saying.

tjh · **Joined:** Wed Oct 07, 2009 4:18 pm **Posts:** 2475

The Defendants are "Exotic Motors". I wonder ...

Maru · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 6:33 pm

bob wrote:

Sterngard Friegen wrote:

I'd want to see the evidence first.

Exhibits A & B?

The problem seems to be more DD than A & B

bob · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 6:39 pm

Maru wrote:

bob wrote:

Sterngard Friegen wrote:

I'd want to see the evidence first.

Exhibits A & B?

The problem seems to be more DD than A & B

And that's what we call in the biz "the set up."

Sterngard Friegen · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 6:40 pm

I'm wracking my brain, but can't think of any smart replies.

realist · **Joined:** Fri Jan 23, 2009 1:33 pm **Posts:** 23593

I think she should be deposed first.

Bob Ross · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 7:42 pm

I'm very disappointed I was expecting to see a picture of this said large breasted woman.

Sterngard Friegen · **Posted:** Fri May 20, 2011 7:50 pm

realist wrote:

I think she should be deposed first.

". . . on oral examination before a certified shorthand reporter authorized to administer oaths . . ."?

A Legal Lohengrin · **Joined:** Tue Oct 26, 2010 9:56 pm **Posts:** 9402

shrek wrote:

Is it too obvious to state that the biggest pair of tits seen in a courtroom must surely have been Orly Taitz and Charles Edward Lincoln III?

I recognize that insult, but only from Monty Python's Argument Clinic Sketch, which contains the line: "Shut your festering gob, you tit! Your type really makes me puke! You vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous PERVERT!"

realist · **Joined:** Fri Jan 23, 2009 1:33 pm **Posts:** 23593

Sterngard Friegen wrote:

realist wrote:

I think she should be deposed first.

". . . on oral examination before a certified shorthand reporter authorized to administer oaths . . ."?

Indeed.

Falsehoods unchallenged only fester and grow.

Lawyer Objects To "Large Breasted Woman" In Courtroom

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