UNDER CONSTRUCTION, Cools stuff soon. I promise. STOP ASKING. 

 

Who's Who, Who Isn't, and Who Wants to be in Birferstan

Birferstan is a strange country where the rules of logic, evidence, and law are different from those in the regular USA. Birferstan has some overlap with PUMA Country, Tea Party Hills, Sovereign Citizen Nation, and the Old South; but it's a land with its own flora and fauna. There's plenty of nuts in the mix.

The capsule biographies are by Patrick McKinnion at BadFiction

The Lawyers: In the words of Raymond Chandler, these are the kind of lawyers you hope the other guy has.

Dr. Orly Taitz, DDS, Esq, aka "Dr. Orly"

    • A Molvania-born woman with a dental degree from Hebrew University in Jerusalem, a JS from an on-line law school in Santa Ana, California, and fake eyelashes from Bobo's house of exotic spiders. Known for an ever-changing number of plaintiffs in her cases. Also involved in a lawsuit against her filed by Philip Berg. Accent and way of speaking makes one think she's actually looking for Moose and Squirrel. Likes to convince military plaintiffs to violate the UCMJ and has been known to call for military-led coups against Obama. Was sanctioned in Rhodes v MacDonald for her courtroom behaviour, is now involved in a Quo Warranto case as a pro se plaintiff. Ran for California Secretary of State, lost, currently planning to lose the US Senate race as well. Pretty much a media and attention whore. Her website is known for malware infestation. Being sued by Philip Berg. Also being sued (along with her husband) by ex-lover CEL3, who is being helped by Berg and Kreep in said lawsuit. De Vattelist One of three birther attorneys who lost to an empty table. BadFiction
    • Dr. Taitz on The Fogbow.com: Discussion, Orlie's Poopies, Senate Campaign. 
    • Cases
    • Other blogs
  • Phil Berg
    • A disgruntled Hillary Clinton supporter who filed the first lawsuit questioning Obama's place of birth. Much of the lawsuits from other birthers have sections lifted word-for-word from Philip Berg's lawsuits. Also a 9/11 "truther". Currently has a lawsuit against Dr. Orly due to her harassment of Berg's legal assistant. Doesn't play the de Vattelist game, but is heavily invested in the Indonesian Citizenship myth. Did a "march on Washington" with about 50-75 birthers attending. BadFiction
  • Mario Apuzzo
    • Attorney specializing in DUI charges, also a de Vattel worshipper. Has an ability to ignore past Supreme Court rulings that don't fit into his legal theories, or dismisses them as "bad law". Which might be why the Supreme Court eventually hold him "no". BadFiction
  • John D. Hemenway  
    • Attorney for "Hollister v. 'Soetoro', which started off as a Berg clone lawsuit, with Philip Berg somehow failing to complete the paperwork to get admitted to the court pro hac vice for the case. Far right, has a daughter in law that's even farther to the right. Became the first birther attorney to be sanctioned, though that was more Berg's fault than anything else. Has since disavowed Berg and is going solo on birther cases. Went De Vattelist after splitting from Berg. BadFiction
  • Gary Kreep and the United States Justice Foundation
    • The aptly-named right-wing crank attorney. Has represented birth control clinic bombers and Clinton conspiracy nutters in the past. Birtherstan seems to be his latest cash cow. Brought Dr. Orly in on his (and her) first birther case (Keyes v Bowen) at the request of Wiley Drake, an action I suspect both Kreep and Drake have since strongly regretted.
  • Leo Donofrio
    • On and off again attorney, also performance artist and semi-professional poker player. Appears and disappears at random from birtherdom. Claims at times to be the "Paraclete", which is supposed to be a messenger of "God's Will". Had joined forces with Stephen Pidgeon
  • Stephen Pigeon
    • Involved in past birther lawsuits, proposed the "grand jury" idea that was taken over by Carl Swensson and Bob Campbell. Still dabbles in the birther pool, but is also known for his involvement as "legal counsel" for "Protect Marriage Washington", a group that was trying to overturn equal rights for GLBT residents in Washington State. Has since joined forces with Leo Donofrio. Represented Walter Fitzpatrick before a sense of self-preservation kicked in and he beat feet back to Washington State.
  • Van Irion and the Liberty Legal Foundation
    • Attorney who is on the board of directors for a Neo-Confederate group. One of three birther attorneys who lost to an empty table.
  • Larry Klayman
  • Paul Rolf Jensen
  • Jonathan H. Levy 
    • Orly's attorney on the appeals process, also a graduate from the William Taft On-line Law School, much like Dr. Orly herself. His lawfirm is, curiously enough, named "Brimstone & Co.". Involved in past lawsuits against the Vatican Bank and the US Post Office, was the US attorney for the now-imprisoned former president of the Republic of China, legal advisor to the former Yugoslav president and vice president, Slobadan Milosevic and Dr. Vojislav Seselj, and is involved in the "Provisional Republic of Cabinda", a rebel group in Angola.
  • Charles E Lincoln III, aka CEL3 - 
    • A disbarred felon unable to legally practice law in California, Texas, and Florida. Heavy ties with Neo-Confederate Groups and practices mortgage scams in the court. Formerly Dr. Orly's "law clerk", but now splitsville after allegations by convicted felon and forger Lucas Smith that he was Dr. Orly's lover - a claim that CEL3 later confirmed in a court document.  
  • Andy Martin
    • Anti-Semite and Internet Outhouse. Cranky conspiracy nutjob denied a license to practice law due to mental issues. Vexatious Litigator. Believes Obama's real father is Frank Marshall Davis. 
  • J. Mark Hatfield Attorney and Republican State Representative in Georgia. Tried to get some birther bills passed in the state house, and argued birther cases in the courtroom. One of three birther attorneys who lost to an empty table.


The "Experts"

  • Dr. Ronald Jay Polland, aka "Polarik", aka "Dr. Ron Polarik, Ph.D in Bullshitology" 
    • Originally a nameless, faceless internet "Expert" who claimed Obama's Hawaiian COLB is a forgery, a claim he made in July of 2008. Had never provided any proof he knows what he's talking about. On 29 April 2010 it was confirmed that "Dr. Ron Polarik" was a pseudonym for Dr. Ronald Jay Polland an Instructional Systems Ph.D. with a style and background that closely matches what "Polarik" claims, but also without image analysis or forensics background.
    • The fact that Polland clung to his pseudonym for over a year before being outed, and then almost another year AFTER that before coming clean on who he really was speaks volumes for his credibility. Namely that his claims were so flimsy he was unwilling to stake his professional reputation on them before being given no choice but to own up to his claims and words. He also claims it was former Berg cheerleader Linda Starr Belcher who outed him, thinking that a fellow birther outing him is somehow better than one of those horrid birther debunkers with "facts" and "evidence" and "reality" on their side.
    • In late June of 2010, Polland / Polarik published a video where he claimed that not only did the State of Hawaii create a new COLB just for Obama, but that it was created from the COLB of one of the five people he claimed was behind the "forgery" (in other words, he pulled a TechDude). His evidence on this was a new COLB he claimed had been provided him. When people on Free Republic pointed out errors on it less than 15 minutes after he posted it, a revised version mysteriously appeared, before he pulled the images, and claimed he was doing a "demonstration" to prove his lEEt graphix hackz0rs skills. Many there didn't buy it. His video is still up with no such disclaimer though. We can add "forger" to "liar" and "fake expert" it seems. His latest pet "theory" is a series of videos about his claim that every single childhood and young adult picture of Obama was forged and Stanley Ann Dunham wasn't his mother.
  • TechDude
    • Nameless, faceless internet "Expert" that claims Obama's Hawaiian COLB is a forgery and that Maya Soetoro's name was originally on the document in question. Also has never provided any proof he knows what he's talking about. Disappeared when the birthers called him out, but certain of his claims live on. Some evidence exists that he either is a forensic specialist named "Adam Fink", or used Mr. Fink's credentials without authorization.
  • Susan Daniels
  • Neil Sankey
  • Dr. Herb Titus
  • Sam Sewell, aka "Captain Steve", aka "Aristotle the Hun" 
    • Unlicensed "Pastoral Therapist" in Florida, likes to throw around his Mensa membership. Thin skinned and doesn't like to stand up and defend himself. Fond of cowardly hit and run tactics. De Vattelist
  • Leonard Daneman aka "Paralegalnm" - Birther who fancies themselves to be a paralegal and legal scholar. Seems to think the US Constitution and US Legal code have stagnated since the late 1700's. Ignores the 14th, 15th 19th, and 26th Amendments. Relies on an English translation of de Vattel's "Law of Nations" that came out ten years AFTER the US Constitution was ratified. Posts have a very high noise to data ratio, with a lot of noise and very little data. Seems to have a "baffle them with bullshit" mode to their writing and arguments.


The "Witnesses"


The "Investigators"

  • Sheriff Joe Arpaio
  • Mike Zullo
  • Nellie Ristvedt (butterdezillion)
  • Miki Booth
  • Nellie Ristvedt aka "Butterdezillion" 
    • Birther and conspiracy crank. Has come up with several theories claiming problems with the wording on the Democratic Party's state certificates and that the birth index was changed or forged. Her "evidence" is usually on par with Polland/Polarik, and like him, she tends to use a long word salad in an attempt to make her claims look more convincing. Likes to hang out at Free Repubic and other places under the above screen name, also has her own blog. Screamingly paranoid and has become increasingly delusional. De Vattelist.


Plaintiffs and Lawyer Wannabes

  • American Grand Jury, aka "Fantasy Tiddlywinks League" 
    • A group of pretend juries made up of carefully-selected Obama haters.
  • Jerry Collette
  • Bob Campbell, aka "Off-Shore Jobs Bob" 
    • The other part of the Fantasy Tiddlywinks League, used to live in Shanghai China importing goods to the US that would otherwise have been made BY American citizens. De Vattelist
  • Tracy Fair AKA KenyaBornObamaAcorn
  • Sheron Maroni
  • Cody Robert Judy
  • Carl Swensson 
    • Georgia computer store owner, one of the people behind the Fantasy Tiddlywinks League (American Grand Jury). Also has ties to "Sovereign Citizen" and militia groups. De Vattelist. Ratted out Walter Fitzpatrick and Darren Huff to the FBI in exchange for having charges against him dropped. Was originally believed to be "Pixel Patriot". Chairman of his county's Republican party.
  • Alan Keyes 
    • Former US Ambassador turned ultra-conservative loon. Lost to Obama twice in elections, one Senatorial, one Presidential. Involved in two lawsuits against Obama currently.
  • Wiley Drake, aka Wiley Drank 
    • Keyes' VP choice in 2008, Baptist minister known for praying for the death of those he doesn't like. Was involved in a lawsuit against McCain as well making much the same allegations of citizenship there as well. Was added to a lawsuit by Dr. Orly against his wishes, and dropped when he wanted to have Gary Kreep represent him instead.
  • Sharon Meroni aka "Chalice Jackson" 
    • Runs "Patriots Heart Network" internet radio. Uses her religion to hide behind and cloak her hatred, particularly of Muslims and anyone she thinks is Muslim. Avoids answering real questions like the plague. Involved with the Fantasy Tiddlywinks League. Claims to be able to see the hatred from Obama in his eyes. Tries to claim that she knows nothing about the racism and calls for revolution and coups that many of her fellow birthers call for, but hangs around sites that do just those things, which leads one to believe that either she's willfully blind to such things, or lying though her teeth. Gets completely unhinged when birther debunkers use her legal name, though doesn't seem to have a problem when places like the Pest and eFail use it. Thinks she's cute and clever, in reality unhinged and dull. Started a website that I'll call "PimpingDeadSoldiersForHerAgenda.com" due to heavy and tasteless use of flag-draped coffins, military cemeteries, and soldiers standing over their dead comrades. (rolls eyes)


The Military Birthers

  • Lt. Scott Easterling
  • Major Stephen Cook
  • Captain Connie Rhodes
  • LTC Terry Lakin
    • ex-US Army Lt.Col, Military Doctor turned Ex-inmate, appeared on the scene in March of 2010 with a slick site and a claim that he plans to refuse deployment or all military orders until Obama shows him a birth certificate. Ended up missing deployment. Parents have gone on record as being Obama supporters. Former spokesperson was Margaret Hemenway, birther writer and daughter in law of birther attorney John D. Hemenway. Separated from them and got a real military law attorney in an attempt to escape court-martial charges. Didn't work, he was court-martialed in December of 2010. Six months confinement, loss of pay and pension, and dismissal from service. Released in May 2011 after serving five months of his sentence. Remained in the military under UCMJ during his appeals process, was not paid, promoted, or assigned during that period. Formally dismissed in November of 2011, has lost the right to be called by his former rank as a result.
  • James Daryn Moran
    • Former SSgt, USAF. Stationed in Germany, had some form of mental breakdown in March of 2011 over an Islamic co-worker. Later stated in April 2011 that he couldn't work with Gays and Lesbians in the military. In both cases he cited his religious beliefs Was removed from his duty station and subjected to a mental health evaluation, which recommended his discharge from the US Air Force. Appeared in a May 2011 World Nut Daily article about the repeal of "Don't Ask - Don't Tell". While waiting for his discharge, he started posting on various blogs and sites, which show he started to go birther in July of 2011. He publicly went AWOL from his transition unit in August of 2011. Appears to have severe mental health issues, and seems disturbed in other areas as well. Made a trip to Washington DC soon after being discharged to "arrest" President Obama, was talked out of it by Secret Service and soon disappeared from the birther scene.
  • Lt. Quarles Harris
  • LTC Walter Fitzpatrick
    • Former US Navy officer court-martialed for misappropriation of funds and forced to retire after being passed up for promotion three times. Hates the military justice system and Obama. Seen as a patriot by the birthers. Went on a jihad against his local real grand jury for not filing treason charges against Obama, ended up arrested after attempting to do a citizens arrest on the jury foreman, (who, curiously enough, is African-American. Wonder if that had anything to do with it......) Has a past history of legal harassment and confrontation, including in the early 00's being ousted as a port commissioner in Kitsap County, Washington, by county officials. Missed a trial date in Tennessee, was later convicted on tresspass charges, and spent time as a resident in the Monroe County jail. De Vattelist
    • A Time Line of Fitzpatrick's legal and public history from his court-martial to spring of 2006 has been put together here.


The Grifters - Some are in it for the money, some for the defamation, some for the opposition. They all have their currency.

  • Jerome Corsi 
    • Writer, known racist and liar, known for spreading lies about John Kerry's swift boat service. Writes for World Nut Daily.
  • Floyd Brown 
    • GOP dirty trickster, now runs the "Western Center for Journalism", which was founded by Joseph Farah. Uses the WCJ to spread birther stories around.
  • Ed Hale
    • Current operator of Plains Radio, runs some outstandingly bigoted message boards. Called up the Art Bell show once under the name "Bugs" and claims to have shot and killed two bigfoot at his Texas Ranch, but the US government came and stole the bones. Kicked Wiley Drake off the air in midshow due to Drake going off against Gays and Lesbians, showing that Hale has some morals and ethics - and class - at least. Claims to have been a Colonel during the Vietnam war, but a Freedom of Information Act request shows he never got past E-1 (private). Post long-form, seems to have recanted birtherism.
  • Donald Trump
  • The Reverand James Manning
    • Felon turned Black-Septarationist minister based in Harlem, has a self-granted Ph.D from his own seminary. Former Hillary Clinton supporter, likes to call Obama the "long-legged mack daddy". Severely racist, claims that Obama isn't really African-American because he's not descended from slave ancestors, and that his "trashy white mother went a-whoring for his African father. Got a visit from the Secret Service after saying publically that Obama must die for the Constitution to live. Gets along well with the white-racists in Birtherstan because he parrots what they say and hates inter-racial couples as well. Basically a "Christian" version of Louis Farrakhan. Ran a fake "trial" that the birthers are trying to get people to take seriously.
  • Lucas Smith
    • Felon with previous convictions for fraud and forgery. "Discoverer" of Kenyan Birth Cerificate #2, or FKBC2. Accused Dr. Orly of asking him to lie under oath in a court case, later also accused Dr. Orly of shagging CEL3.
  • Members of Congress
  • World News Daily 
    • aka World Nut Daily. Conspiracy-laden right-wing "news" source without the slightest amount of journalistic ethics or concern for the facts.
  • Joseph Farah
    • Founder and editor of World Nut Daily. Player in the 1990's Clinton conspiracy theories, back for a return engagement for Obama conspiracy theories. De Vattelist
  • Bob Schultz
    • Head of the "We The People" tax cheats, a "Tax Protestor" group that also likes to run "Congressional Conventions". Heavy ties to the "Sovereign Citizens" movement. Sponsored a press conference at the National Press Club that was the first public appearance of Dr. Orly as a birther lawyer and the last time Dr. Orly and Philip Berg came anywhere near each other.


The Watchers

  • The Good
  • The Bad
    • The Post & Mail
      • Otherwise known as The Pest and eFail. Online blather with pretensions of being a newspaper. Known for publishing any anti-Obama crackpot no matter how nutty, allowing open racism in their heavily moderated comments, and promoting sedition and outright treason against the Government.
      • John Charlton, aka Zampolit Charlton - Dr. Orly cheerleader, used to run The Pest and eFail. Likes to link to sites like "Stormfront". Was rumoured to be a sockpuppet of CEL3 and/or Peyton Yates Freiman for a while, but that seems unlikely since post-breakup he continues to tongue-buff Dr. Orly's tush to a high-gloss shine. Seems to have this delusion that this blog (among others) is being funded by George Soros. Has called for "patriots" to rise up and overthrow Obama by any means required, stating it's their patriotic duty to do so - even if it requires lethal force. Hasn't been been around for a while, his duties at the Pest and eFail have been taken over by:
      • Sharon Rondeau - Harpist turned birther nutjob and professional seditionist. Took over the Pest and eFail after John Charlton disappeared. Doesn't have a problem with openly racist comments or allowing the nuttiest birthers to post articles at the Pest and eFail. Of late has become a major Fitzpatrick groupie, but will pretty much allow anyone who hates Obama to post. Claims to be a patriot, but openly promotes sedition and military coups on her heavily censored blog. De Vattelist
    • Jason "Molotov" Mitchell - Videographer and far-right wackadoodle. Does videos now for World Nut Daily. Birther.
  • The Ugly
    • Lonestar1776
    • Lame Cherry - Batguano insane racist, has identified themselves as female, (though Dr. Kate claims they're male). Has more issues than National Geographic, fond of making racist and sexist comments about Obama's mother, wife, and children. Or anyone else for that matter. Has become increasingly vulgar and racist as time goes on. Strong ties to Dr. Kate, Dr. Kate and Lame Cherry cross reference each other regularly, including Lame Cherry talking about details of Dr. Kate's life that Dr. Kate hasn't posted on her blog.
    • Theresa Daniels - aka "Poodle-brained" due to her always using a picture of her with a toy poodle. The poodle seems to be the smarter of the two. Known for blind belief in anything anti-Obama, no matter how insane, and a virulent hatred of, bordering on pathological, for Muslims. De Vattelist


The Indispensible

 

 


Birther Headlines

A handy-dandy dynamic aggregation of all the currently updated birther blogs. It offers insight into the vast range of theories in birtherdom and how birthers feed off each other by copying and re-posting the latest theory of the day with slightly different takes.  

Dr. Conspiracy wrote: This attractive, convenient and fast-loading site fronts content from the major birther web logs. While it describes itself as “All Eligibility News Blogs In One Place,” it might more accurately say “All Anti-Eligibility News Blogs In One Place” since it only covers sites that take the negative position on Obama’s eligibility. It’s a pretty comprehensive compilation.